The Time I was a Homewrecker and had my Body Slammed in a Car Door

You know those weeks you have where the only time you have to yourself is when you are showering or peeing? After a ten page paper…a presentation…back to back meetings…full days of classes…no food and no sleep, I decided that I deserved a night out with my girl. My best friend, Chey (pronounced “shy”) is that girl who every guy is pressed over. She is fair-skinned, tall, thin, and has perfectly straight golden blond hair down to her ass. She is the girl you would hate due to jealousy if you didn’t know she was the most open-minded, kind, fun girl. I met Chey when we were freshmen in college. In class she is reserved, but when it comes to nights out with me, she will throw back shots of tequila until she can’t see straight. Even though we don’t always make the same kind of decisions, she is my down for anything girl and every time we go out I know I’m in for a wild night.

On this particular night Chey came to my apartment along with her boyfriend and his friend Tim. Tim was a thin, tatted guy with gauges in his ears. As Chey and the rest drained a full bottle of tequila, I sipped on a beer. “Take a shot with meeee” Chey pleaded with me, knowing I would be reluctant. I rolled my eyes and then retrieved the bottle of Pineapple Svedka from the cabinet. Chey smiled and we toasted to the celebration of the shitty week we had. After a few more beers and double shots of Svedka and Jose, we were riding to the bars in an Uber.

After arriving at the bar, Chey’s boyfriend handed both of us two large drinks. As my drink got lower and lower, the music started to fade in the background and I fully welcomed by more-than-buzzed state. Before I knew it, Tim was behind me with his tatted arms around my body. The four of us danced together, having a blast. Pretty soon I felt Tim’s hands sneak up to my breasts and squeeze. After swatting his hands away, I felt him run his other hand slowly down my pants, where he was once again swatted away. His next attempt was turning my face around toward him to kiss me.

Eventually his friend came up to me to warn me that Tim was her best friend’s boyfriend…great. “We’ve been fighting a lot lately,” he said trying to excuse himself…just another thing he would regret in the morning. One thing I can’t stand is cheaters… and even as someone who has done things under the influence of alcohol, (such as kissing a gross, tatted, cheater) I can’t see alcohol as an excuse. Another thing I can’t stand is being touched inappropriately by men in a bar. Permission to dance with me doesn’t give you permission to my body.

The rest of the night was filled with more friends and dancing. We stayed until the bars closed down and then were all kicked out. As the masses walked out of the bar we witnessed a guy in the passenger seat of a car choking a girl in the driver seat. “Oh my God, did you see that guy?” Chey asked. I walked up to the white Sedan and automatically opened the car door. “Are you ok?” I asked the girl. She was crying and then used her hand, signaling that she was not. Whether it was the alcohol…my need to stand up for myself and other women…or something else, I told the guy he needed to get out of the car, pulling on his blazer. All of a sudden the guy started to shut the door on my body, screaming “get this bitch out of my face!!!” A crowd of people were instantly surrounding me. As happy as I was to see that my friends had my back, I was sad for this girl who drove away with her abusive boyfriend in her car.

So I guess to summarize that night, if you see a girl (or anyone) in trouble, stand up for them! …And if you find yourself in this girl’s situation, remember you’re in the driver seat–kick him out on his ass and drive away!

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Shedding Light on Women in College

So…first to tell you a little bit about myself. I am a girl originally from a small town up north– the kind of town where you have to drive half an hour to the nearest Chipotle and there is only one middle school and one high school. I had a “normal” childhood. I hated math, argued with my mother, had girl drama, dated immature guys, and dreamed about running off to a place where you could get food after 9:00 PM. Pretty much everyone talked about “getting out,” but I was determined to make it happen. By my senior year I had a very small group of friends who I couldn’t tell were my friend or just convenience. On my graduation day there were tearful goodbyes, but I was just…ready! I had my acceptance letter to my top school choice and I was headed far, far away. They say you find yourself in college, but it’s actually true. Leaving home has really allowed me to think about who I want to be and what I want to accomplish. I’ve experienced college the way I think it should be…of course along the way I’ve had all the ups and downs of college. I’ve gotten dressed up with my girls, gotten blackout drunk, had random guys in my bed…I’ve had late nights in the library studying, 100’s on tests, worked, had enough caffeine that should cause an overdose, been hungover an entire day, the worst heartbreak of my life– I’ve transformed into someone I don’t know and I have also come back from it.

One thing I have truly come to learn about myself in college is that I’m a feminist to the core. People will give you A LOT of crap over that word or brush it off, but I can tell you what I think it means. It means equal opportunity, that’s it. Is the name deceiving? Maybe to some. The way I see it though, is that women need a boost economically, politically, socially (in just about every -ally). I know some people who call themselves feminists believe it is something else and some may believe we are “man haters,” but that’s not me. I love…some men :p and I hope that they can consider themselves feminists too!Discovering the feminist part of me has changed me in a way.

I grew up EXTREMELY shy. I would blush constantly and in any situation with eyes on me would tremble all over. I wanted people to like me and was very soft spoken about things. Truthfully, I have a lot to say and lately I am not afraid to say it. A lot of college girls are afraid to be judged for their actions. We are told we need to have “fat asses”, “don’t be easy”, “dress sexy, but not too sexy.” From my experience, women are afraid of sharing their sexual experiences and are self-conscious about their bodies. They are too often afraid to say no to guys and are afraid to stick up for themselves. With this blog I hope to shed light on what it’s like to be a college girl today and help women take control of their bodies and their lives as I try to do the same!